What pulls you most evenings?
You know the pull I mean-- not the plans we make, but those those indulgences, distractions or habits we find hard to resist.
As we keep taking small steps and make gains towards the lives that we want, so many factors pull for our attention and influence our actions along the way. Sometimes, like a craving for water, more sleep, quality time with friends or peace and quiet these pulls may serve us well. Sometimes, not so much. Many of these influences we are aware of, others are more subtle.
For a few minutes tonight, ask yourself—what do I have a hard time saying no to? What do I crave?
Now, make a list of what comes to mind, without judgement.
I'm serious. Write it down, it makes a difference.
Which cravings are helping you? Great. Make note of them. Carry on.
Which pulls aren’t helping you? That’s not to say they are bad, simply look at the ones that deep down you don’t feel good about for any reason.
For the ones that aren’t—spend a bit more time there. Why are you drawn to these things or these habits, time and again? Why don't you feel good, why aren't they helping you?
For some of us, it might be checking our Instagram and social media 50x a day, or eating certain foods we know aren't ideal for us. Or coffee. A certain relationship. We. Just. Can’t. Resist. Them. Try as we might, we just keep indulging. We just can’t say no.
Haha, am I right?
You feeling me? :P
Don’t settle for that story anymore.
It’s just that—a story.
Dig in, ask yourself: what needs are those pulls meeting for me?
There is obviously a reason because you keep saying yes.
Deep down, underneath the 'I know I shouldn't but..." are you actually happy with the way life feels with these pulls?
If you are, good. Own that. Keep going, saying yes to these things with intention.
If not, you have the power to change the choices you make.
That doesn’t mean that change is easy (we wouldn’t have decided to create DED or DFN if change was easy on our own), but nothing can change until you face it, own it, spend some time understanding it and then decide what you want to do with this realization.
Once you have clarity, you can decide the steps to make the changes you want, or keep doing the things you really want.
This is not about good or bad, but rather being aware and becoming curious about where our attention, indulgences and habits lead us, and how they shape us. Our lives are made up of thousands of intentional choices, but also the unintentional, unexamined choices, too.
So tonight, own them, ask why, and see what clarity you can find when you really go deep with these pulls. Explore them openly, this time without judgment but a whole lot of curiosity instead. You might be surprised what you find.
While you think, hit play on your evening jam. Can't get enough of this one.