Photo by Wendy Shepherd
It's more simple than you'd think. ...literally.
Your fast (reptilian) brain hijacks you with reactive emotions all the time. It's always the first to speak.
Your slow brain (smart/human/cerebral cortex) tries to make sense and decide. Though... it's always second. Playing catch-up.
Which is why we plan and set goals: because the best way to get your smart brain speaking first, is to plan in advance.
But.... enter life. In real time. All day, every day.
Reactions happen. Emotions and frustrations build up. We look for escape. escape. In our society where fight and flight are rarely options, we often freeze up.
That's no solution, so the slow brain starts analyzing and suggests stopping the thing that triggers you. Smart.
But not what you actually want.
That's called a "rationalization" aka a BS, but logical story we tell ourselves to avoid engaging with life.
Tough love is a way of being with yourself (and others), that does us all a favor by always being ready to cut through that loop.
Easy love is creating a great plan for yourself and your life. Even a powerful one for others.
Tough love is deciding to stand for what you believe in and endure what life throws at you once the plans hit the real-time world.
And choosing that repeatedly when you won't feel like it.